This being the no-expense-spared BBC, there's a video link to the village of Kogelo in Kenya, where Barack Obama once stroked a cat. Karen Allen, who has a malfunctioning earpiece, can't hear the studio. It's hardly surprising, thousands of villagers in the background are celebrating in traditional African style - by waving plastic patio chairs above their heads.

Next up, Dimbers conducts a phone interview with singer Tracy Chapman who reveals she 'had the jitters' earlier and that she thinks Obama will be an 'intelligent' president. Breathtaking nonsense, but Dimbers doesn't care.

He's not alone. I've been up for nearly 20 hours, and while I'm happy to pretend this is work, the truth is I'd have stayed up to watch the US election anyway. Its been pure theatre.

Less than 150 years after the abolition of slavery - and less than

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Back in April, when I tied the knot, the missus - being a modern lass  - followed my wedding speech with a short one of her own.

Her words were sincere, touching, gentle and amusing.

Well they were. Until she told nearly 100 of our closest friends and family that we liked 'nothing more on a Friday night than to have a curry and cuddle up in front of Jonathan Ross'.

This was a lie.

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The world is being dragged back to the dark ages because greedy bankers risked our savings and pensions on making ever bigger bonuses.

I don't have much sympathy for the fat cats who drank too much cream. It just serves as a reminder that these people shouldn't be looked up to.

How many people finish their A-levels and say "I want to make the world a better place, I think I'll go into investment banking".

Answer? None. They are, without exception, in it for themselves.

Unlike Stephan Slater, who, as we speak, is somewhere deep in France, alone, and can't sleep because his swollen knees are in agony.

Stephan, 24, was
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Or maybe Britain really has gone to the dogs.

Either way, as I get used to the idea of being in my 30s, one fact is tragically clear - promising actor Robert Knox will never have to.

Neither will Lyle Tulloch, who lived down the road from me. He was stabbed near his home in south London a few weeks back.

Or Jimmy Mizen, who died after being attacked with a shard of glass in a bakery. I mean, seriously, a bakery...

These horrendous stabbings come a week af

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In March 2007, I promised that the new-look express.co.uk would complement your favourite newspaper with breaking news, sport and showbiz 24 hours a day.

On top of that, we said we'd bring you a range of new interactive features, web-exclusive comment, the best pictures from around the world and a brand new Express video section.

A year on, and we know - because you've been telling us in huge numbers - that you love Express Pictures, where we feature the most striking images every day.

Our brand new video section has also been a hit, with tens of thousands of you enjoying o

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